23 thing I learned turning 23.

As I turned twenty three recently I have spent a lot of time reflecting not only on the past year, but also my last twenty two years. Here is what I have learned so far:

1.) Assess where you are right now.

This isn't meant to sound like the end of a yoga lesson, but I think reflection is important for individual growth. As you are reading this, think about where you are in your life right now. What day is it? What mood are you in? What have you achieved both today and in your life? Sometimes, I get so swept up in everything I forget to take a look and see where I'm at. Given the fact we are in a pandemic, and have been forced to slow down, now more than ever I've started to reflect more on what I have achieved rather than what I haven't achieved yet. 

2.) Communication is key.

I believe this can be defined in any kind of relationship really. I know so many reality TV series thrive off of the 'he-said-she-said' plotlines, but if anything it has taught me to directly address the problem and to be honest, rather than let it manifest into something out of context. Although it is easier said than done, and I am still learning, it is definitely key to me maintaining the friendships/relationships I have now.

3.) Listen to your gut.

The saying 'always trust your gut' is also a scientific fact. A lot of what goes on in the body is a result of gut health. Gut health is also responsible for serotonin production, so sometimes something as simple as a change in what you're eating does affect your mood.

4.) Life is all about balance.

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, and I came across one about Ayurveda. I found it fascinating as it was discussing the ethos of balancing the body and I've been thinking about how that applies to life. relaxation is as important as productivity (and can improve it too). I think everything in moderation (to an extent) is key.

5.) Sleep is the best healer. 

Whenever I feel like the day hasn't gone well or I feel anxious or over-whelmed, chances are the night before I didn't sleep enough. Sleep is a time for repair- both mentally and physically and when I'm not scrolling on TikTok and pit my phone on Do Not Disturb my sleep quality improves so much more.

6.) Explore your comfort zone.

Honestly, if you have the chance to say 'yes' (within reason) before talking yourself out of something, use that chance to push your boundaries. It should just be about you experimenting with your comfort zone. Most of the time I have made so many memories just by going with the flow and going on spontaneous trips with my friends. Sometimes you need to de-stress from life and live a bit more freely.

7.) Exercise does wonders for your mental health.

If I ever feel rubbish, exercise is my outlet. When I exercise, whether it be a walk or weights it makes me feel so much better mentally and physically, whilst setting me up for the day at the same time. 

8.) A cup of tea solves everything.

Okay, this isn't technically, or scientifically proven (sadly), but for me tea is an ultimate comfort. whether it's an argument, gossip, breakup or catchup, a cup of tea is on of the simplest gifts you can always supply to a situation.

9.) Things heal with time.

If you constantly live in the past and think about everything that has happened, I have found a tendency to overthink and question things that have occurred. Time allows you to find harmony with your past.

10.) Don't re-evaluate your mindset.

Whenever I feel down I used to find it really easy to catastrophise everything. Instead, I have learnt to process how I feel in that particular moment and hoe to shape that to better my situation. 

11.) Everything happens for a reason.

This is one of the reasons I try not to have regrets. In my eyes, sometimes you need to go through certain difficult scenarios in order to learn from the outcome. In that sense you need to experience these things to develop and grow as a person. 

12.) If you're worried get it checked.

I am writing this from my own experience. I was concerned with a lump in my neck, and to this day live in fear that if I hadn't of had it checked that I would still be living unaware of a cancer growing in my body. The GP can help alleviate any anxiety and ease your mind. 

13.) Comparison is the thief of joy

On the daily I have to remind myself that I am going on my own journey, at my own speed. I feel like with social media it is so easy to compare yourself to everyone else, but by doing that I am only going to risk the expense of my own happiness. In reality, most accounts are actually just a 'highlight' reel of someone else's life, so are not completely accurate anyway.

14.) Other people's perception of you does not define you. 

I feel like when you're younger it is easy to think that what other people think of you is the biggest deal in the world, but if we were all the same it would be so boring! Someone else's opinion of you only defines themselves not you. The only opinions that matters are from my incredible friends, who lift me up and inspire me daily. 

15.) Culture is your best friend.

They say that knowledge is power. I take this is the form of culture. For me, culture and the way other people live, express themselves and communicate is one of the best ways for me to live an open-minded and accepting life. Read more, watch more, visit more and seek to educate more, it's the best thing you can do for yourself. 

16.) Stop worrying so much.

I always think this one is a bit of a cliché, and part of the reason it falls at number 16 on this list as it is always something people would tell their '16 year old self'. Yet I will say it anyway: STOP WORRYING. Everything will fall into place and sort itself out eventually; if it's not something you will find important in five years time, then there's no point wasting your energy over it.

17.) Don't be held back by fear.

Fear is one of the few things that stops so many of us from achieving our goals (me included). Similar to what I said about my comfort zone, sometimes the best way to challenge my anxiety is by overcoming a fear and doing it anyway. The worst that will happen is failure, but in the grand scheme of things: it's really not that deep.

18.) Cherish your time spent with loved ones.

It is so easy to take your loved ones for granted, but sometimes life throws a curveball, so I always try and focus on prioritising time with my family and actually being present when I'm with them.

19.) Start your new year in September. 

This is actually a tip I learnt from watching Venetia LaManna's videos and it has really changed my life. Sometimes the prospect of a new year can be difficult or overwhelming to think about. There is also a certain pressure correlating with being productive at the beginning of a new year. However, since I've started doing this, I feel a lot less pressure when January comes around as I've already started on my goals. 

20.) Change can be good.

Change is often viewed as being scary. Yet, sometimes a small or big change can be essential to quality of life. My biggest change has to be veganism, and ten years ago if you had told me that I would become plant-based I would have dismissed you. However, I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been (cancer aside) from adapting this change into my life.

21.) Relationships will change.

People constantly grow and change, and so do relationships. My ethos is to put in time for the people who make time for me. I want to dedicate my time and energy to people who feel the same. If that means I feel differently about a relationship from this or vice versa if someone else's perspective of me changes, that is also okay. I am always open to this conversation.

22.) Don't take your health for granted.

Following on this from an earlier point, as a 'young person' it is so easy to feel invincible but the reality is that the human body is complicated. I had a spinal fusion at thirteen and a thyroidectomy at twenty-two, so I know my body is strong but not totally unbeatable. 

23.) To just breathe. 

I want to finish on the fact that I am still only twenty three and I don't have to have everything figured out right now. Life has thrown my some pretty hard curveballs, but I still have so many years to go and there's no rush.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my thoughts and reflections. This wasn't meant to be preachy, just an honest depiction of how life has gone so far.

All my love,

Odette